The Quiet Confidence of Solo Travellers: Why You Don’t Have to Be Loud to Belong

I’ve noticed a pattern in my Going Solo Facebook group. Quiet, but constant.

A woman joins the group. Maybe she’s just taken her first solo trip... or she’s still dreaming of one. She might have come through a breakup, an empty nest, a health scare, or simply reached that moment we all get to eventually: “If not now, when?”

She joins with a flutter in her heart. She reads the posts, looks at the photos, and dreams quietly along with everyone else.

And then... nothing.

She doesn’t post. She doesn’t comment. Not yet, anyway.

And that’s okay.

Because what I’ve learned over the years — from my group, from my clients, and from my own journey is that finding the confidence to travel solo often comes after we’ve found the confidence to take up space. To speak up. To be seen.

And that can take time.

You’re Not the Only Quiet One Here

So many women in the community feel the same. Not because they’re not interested, they are, but because they’ve spent years being told to tone it down, keep it together, be nice, stay safe.

They’ve learned to be the helper, not the one asking for help.

They’ve been the organiser of everyone else’s holidays, never daring to say: I’d like to go somewhere just for me.

They’ve felt guilty for spending money on themselves. Self-conscious about doing things alone. Unsure of how to begin.

And joining a group filled with other women doing brave things ... can stir up all sorts of feelings.

This Isn’t About Confidence. It’s About Permission.

You don’t need to be confident to take a trip. You just need to feel safe enough. Encouraged enough. Seen enough. To take one tiny step.

Maybe that’s replying to someone’s post. Or messaging me privately to say, “I’d love to travel, but I’m scared.” Or reading this and thinking, "That’s me."

You’re not behind. You’re not silly. And you’re certainly not invisible here.

There’s No Right Way to Be in a group

Some women will post every day. Some will only comment now and then. Some will wait months before saying their first hello and then tell us about their first solo trip to Portugal or Peru or the Peak District.

My group is a group of women in all stages of becoming — becoming confident, becoming curious, becoming free. And just by being here, you’re already part of it.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’d like to post, but don’t know what to say, try one of these:

• “I’m thinking of going to ___, has anyone been?”

• “I’ve never travelled solo before, but I’d love to. Any tips?”

• “I’m nervous, but excited. Just joined — thank you for having me.”

Or don’t say anything at all. That’s okay too.

Just know that you’re not alone — not in your dreaming, and not in your quiet.

Do you journal? If so why not try this journalling prompt?

What’s holding me back from speaking up or taking that first step? What would it feel like to let myself try — even if it’s just a whisper?

Loved this post? Let’s stay connected!

If this piece resonated with you, I’d love to welcome you into my world of solo adventures, soulful escapes, and supportive travel inspiration.

Join our Going Solo community on Facebook — a friendly space for women travelling solo at any age or stage.

Whether you're planning your first solo trip or your fifteenth, I’m here to help you feel confident, inspired, and never alone.